I find myself not belonging in all the familiar places. I’ve stretched beyond the boundaries of expectations- my family of origins, my traditional beliefs, my culture’s. Beyond is an awkward place to be.
I wonder how I got here and if “here” is really okay. On the other hand, I wonder why it took me so long to get here and what else I’ve missed along the way.
I hold to the core of my faith, but I don’t fit with other people who profess the same core beliefs. While I honor the tradition of my upbringing, I don’t hold it sacred. Understanding the thought process of my culture, I don’t subscribe to the societal expectations. I’m untethered.
Untethered, while freeing, can also bring with it insecurity and uncertainty.
When you deconstruct what tradition has constructed for you, where do you go? When you dismantle the conventional wisdom of culture, where does that lead you? What’s next?
Deconstruction makes way for reconstruction. Disrupting the stability forced me out of old habits and routine thinking patterns. Becoming curious lead me to challenge assumptions that were always off but I never thought to object. (I believed in Santa until I was 9 years old — even defended him boldly at school.) Making room for new concepts opened the door to meeting new people. Admitting I was wrong stripped me of judgement, arrogance, and pride. Deconstruction makes way for reconstruction — something I desperately needed.
Correcting a basic premise you’ve lived with is uncomfortable.
Once you step into deconstruction, uncomfortable becomes your permanent physical address. Which means my equilibrium will likely always be slightly off. What I have learned is worth the uncomfortable feeling of being untethered- How to honor everything that brought me here and let go of everything that isn’t pointing me toward my God-given design. Not belonging in the familiar places turns out to be right where I belong.
What’s next? More curiosity, flexibility, awareness. More uncovering, exposure, discovery. Just more!
What do you need to challenge? Deconstruct? Dismantle? Yes, it’s awkward, uncomfortable, and leaves you feeling uncertain but when you get to the other side of it, there’s more.
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